This blog is all about the business of relationships. Its sole purpose is to help other lost souls like myself find what they need in a partner and endure a happy lasting meaningful relationship that God would smile upon.
What's the best way we can achieve this daunting yet not impossible task? The first step is knowing who you are at this particular time in your life. Not who you want to be but who you really are RIGHT NOW. The better understanding of self you have the easier it is to determine what you NEED, not want in a partner.
Deep analyzing of ones self might tell us that we aren't ready for a relationship right now and we need to work on us. So many times their is damage done to us emotionally, spiritually, and we look for a woman/man to fill the void and make everything ok. The thing is if you were not ok before you met that one, your not going to be after you do. You may superficially mask your issues with a new relationship but eventually those issues are going to come out and need to be dealt with. At this time you could have so much time, emotion, and energy invested into a relationship before you find out its not going to work.
Deal with your issues first. Work on YOU! No ones perfect so waiting until your perfect will never happen. We are all human and all are going to have issues of some sort, however its the degree and magnitude of what our issues are that are the determining factor of if we need work before we start looking to get into a serious relationship. Trust me, this will save you a lot of time, heart ache and pain! Develop a relationship with God! He is the only one who can truly heal and bring peace to your spirit. If you already have a relationship with him then renew it! Challenge yourself to grow closer to him and have a much more intimate relationship with him. MATTHEW 6:33 "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and ALL these THINGS will be added to you." THESE THINGS include your spouse that you NEED. You have to get your priorities straight first. God first, all other things after.
OK...so all major issues dealt with your ready to start looking for a serious relationship. You did some soul searching and you know yourself, and dealt with or are successfully dealing with some issues. So now is a good time for you to start composing a list of traits and attributes your ideal partner should have. You base this off your personality,character,believes,morals etc.
Let's use me for example. I have a dominant personality and I'm bull headed. My ideal woman probably would be someone who is more passive or passive aggressive. Someone who isn't so stubborn. We need that equal opposites to balance us off. If i worship God and you worship the devil its probably not gonna work! lol. If i want to get married in the future and you don't ever want to get married or I want kids and you have some and don't want anymore, these are things that probably wouldn't lead to a good match.
Also remember sometimes what you want and what you need can be two different things. Rule of thumb..always go for what you need! It would be wonderful if what we wanted was what we needed! This is not always the case however.Bottom line is take time to really know yourself. This will enable you to make sound judgement on the type of people you should be dating.
I'm not saying follow this to the t and if a prospect is missing one thing cross them out. This is just a guiding light to the right path. Love is a wonderful living breathing spontaneous thing. You can't control who you fall for. It might be someone just like you but you both compromise because you love each other so much. You never know, but this first step will get you going in the right direction!
May God bless you all!
Subscribe to Relationship advice for dummies