Sunday, December 8, 2013


I read an article a few years back on the damage casual sex causes to the human brain. Interesting enough the article was given to me by my mother! I guess she was trying to tell me something lol!
What's not so funny is the article seemed to be dead on, and made a lot of sense. Some issues I had with bonding with women were explained.

There is no such thing as harmless casual sex amongst willing participants as the article explains. The article I read was called "The Emotional Corrosion of Casual Sex" from the February 2011 issue of the  magazine "The Trumpet." Written by Dennis Leap.

I'm including the contents of this article in this post, also including the link to the article online so you can read from the source if you like. I hope it is knowledgeable to you and helps you in some way. Enjoy and God bless!


Recently I had the opportunity to work with a group of people from starkly different backgrounds. Most of our conversations were simply small talk. Yet one woman was surprisingly open about her life. Without prodding, she often articulately explained her philosophy on sex and relationships. Having been married and divorced multiple times, she now welcomed “no strings attached” sexual encounters. She thrilled at the hunt and the conquest. However, studying her over a period of time I noticed that she was often depressed.

One day she came to me and asked, “Why does casual sex hurt people?” This painfully honest question deserves a truthful answer.

Casual sex is sex for physical pleasure only, without emotional connection, no strings attached. Often it’s a one-time occurrence. It includes any kind of sex act with anyone, heterosexual or homosexual. In its rawest form it involves total strangers—no names, no history, no tomorrow. It coldly seeks to suppress the development of any type of relationship.

Casual sex has been glamorized in movies and on television. Casual sex membership websites, often accompanied with pornographic material, make it easy for partners to hook up. Many authors praise its advantages. They assure us of the thrilling excitement of the casual sex lifestyle. Its joys are made to appear unquestionable.  The philosophy underlying all this hype is that marriage is out; casual sex is harmless fun; everyone is doing it; you are missing out—just do it! This is a seriously flawed philosophy. Risks are minimized. The threat of possible lifelong damage is ignored.

Let’s face the problem squarely. The misuse of sex brings incredible personal sorrow. Monogamous, marital sex is the only source of true fun.  Casual sex is extremely risky and harmful to all involved. Yet, without question, casual sex experimentation is most destructive to our youth.

All parents must come to grips with this problem. Why? Young adults and the youngest of teens are the most likely to be taken in by such thinking. The current adult generation has yet to deal with the problem of and the problems caused by promiscuous sex. Our sex-crazed society willfully overlooks the bad fruits of its actions. Contraceptives—including condoms—are not the solution. The harm done goes much deeper than an unwanted pregnancy or being struck by a health-threatening sexual disease.  New brain research proves that there is no such thing as safe sex outside of marriage. How science has come to this conclusion is amazingly interesting.  

The Brain and Sex

Neuroscience research has uncovered useful information about how sex affects the human brain. Using MRI techniques, scientists have gained a clear picture of what takes place within the brain during sexual activity. Although it is not new knowledge, science confirms that the use of sex can either give us wholeness—or damage us, possibly for a lifetime. These scientific facts add support to necessary sex instruction that must be provided to protect our teens and young adults.

Joe McIlhaney and Freda Bush, both ob-gyns, have taken the current neuroscience research and translated it into a plain-speaking, easy-to-understand book titled Hooked. Dr. McIlhaney also founded the Medical Institute for Sexual Health in order to tackle the global epidemics of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STI).

These two medical professionals have much experience in working with teens and young adults. They have seen the incredible damage done to our youth as a result of the improper use of sex.  In Hooked, the duo confront the emotional and psychological damage casual sex does to young, developing brains. 
”With the aid of modern research techniques and technologies, scientists are confirming that sex is more than a momentary physical act,” they write. “It produces powerful, even lifelong changes in our brains that direct and influence our future to a surprising degree.” In other words, the use of sex can either keep the human brain healthy or severely damage it.

Emotional Bonding

The brain has been described as the largest human sex organ. Neuroscience confirms this fact. Sex triggers a magnificent biochemical process within the human brain. Three different chemicals flood the brain from initiation to completion of the sexual act: dopamine and oxytocin in women, and dopamine and vasopressin in men. Each chemical is designed to fulfill a specific purpose.

Dopamine is known as a feel-good chemical rewarding us when we accomplish something thrilling or exhilarating. Runners often experience dopamine highs during exercise. Dopamine has an addictive property that causes us to want to repeat whatever we have accomplished.

Oxytocin is present in both males and females, but it has a far more important role in the life of a woman. Science has known for some time that oxytocin is present when a mother nurses her baby. It aids and accelerates the human bonding process between the mother and child. During sex, the release of oxytocin in the female brain helps a woman bond with her mate.

Vasopressin serves a similar function in males. Besides helping a man to bond with his children, during sex it aids bonding with his mate.

How does all of this relate to casual sex? McIlhaney and Bush connect the dots. They emphasize that parents need to understand the role these hormones play in sexual experience.  Concerning dopamine and young people having casual sex, they write: “It seems that the dopamine reward signal is working very well in these young people. Once they experience sex, they want to repeat it again and again. We have discussed elsewhere how sex is similar to drug, alcohol, or nicotine addiction; it is understandable that a young (or older) person would want to experience that same rush again” (ibid.). The dopamine reward process in the brain is values-neutral: It cannot distinguish between positive or negative behavior. If an individual gets a thrill out of risky sex, the dopamine reward will encourage the repetition of the risky behavior.  

Loss of Connectedness

The dopamine reward for sex is intensely powerful. Thus, a sexually active couple upon breakup will often move quickly to sexual intercourse with a new person. In a culture that encourages casual sex, many people are moving quickly from partner to partner. Sexual addiction is often the result. The tabloids are full of accounts of the broken lives of people suffering from this addiction. Certainly this is a terrible problem that is extremely difficult to overcome. Yet those who move from partner to partner suffer even greater damage.

The bonding biochemicals oxytocin and vasopressin are just as powerful as dopamine. Neuroscience shows that these hormones are released with intimate physical contact such as hugging or kissing. McIlhaney and Bush explain: “When two people join physically, powerful neurohormones are released because of the sexual experience, making an impression on the synapses in their brains and hard wiring their bond. When they stay together for life their bonding matures. This is a major factor that keeps them together, providing a desire for intercourse, resulting in offspring, and assuring those offspring of a nurturing two-parent home in which to grow” (ibid.).

Although not new knowledge, science confirms the immeasurable value of monogamous sex within marriage.  Science also affirms a destructive downside to casual sex. The doctors explain: “Every time a person has sexual intercourse or intimate physical contact, bonding takes place. Whenever breakups occur in bonded relationships there is confusion and often pain in the brains of the young people involved because the bond has been broken.” The problem described here also has much deeper and long-lasting effect. The authors report: “Further, there is evidence that when this sex/bonding/breaking-up cycle is repeated a few or many times—even when the bonding was short-lived—damage is done to the important, built-in ability to develop significant and meaningful connection to other human beings.”  Living a casual sex lifestyle spawns a loss of human connectedness.

The truth is, we all need human attachment to survive and thrive. Right use of sex promotes personal wholeness and builds stable family life. Casual sex, by contrast, impairs an individual’s ability to form lifelong relationships. McIlhaney and Bush warn that in fact, the emotional corrosion caused by casual sex makes people less than human: “It may sound blunt, but if we try to eliminate this connectedness from sex, we remove the uniquely human aspect of it, and the sexual act becomes nothing more than raw animal behavior.” It is time well spent to think deeply about that quote.  

Abstinence Until Marriage

Let’s be honest. Science is uncovering what God knew thousands of years ago. God placed within the pages of the Bible vital instruction on the proper uses of sex. Just after the creation of Eve and while at the first marriage ceremony, God taught our first parents to “be one flesh.” The newly created couple were to use sex to bind them together for life. They were also instructed to multiply—build a family that would rule and beautify the Earth (Genesis 2:24). There was no shame to sex within this God-ordained boundary (verse 25).

The Bible also warns of the penalties that accompany the abuse of it. Study Romans 1:26-28, 1 Corinthians 6:9, and 2 Peter 2:6.  We shouldn’t need science to tell us what God has already told us. Unfortunately, we have ignored God. It is likely that humans will also ignore the evidence of science.
Human sexuality was designed by a great Creator God to bestow lifelong benefits to mankind. To reap those benefits, sex must remain within the bounds of marriage. Abstinence until marriage is the only workable safe-sex practice. It is interesting to note that a survey taken among teens revealed that 93 percent of the teens questioned believe that teens need to be given a strong abstinence message from parents and other adults.  Herbert W. Armstrong wrote this in his book The Missing Dimension in Sex: “God designed sex to produce pure, righteous, clean, holy and rich blessings! He made it to be the loving bond which not only would inspire a properly mated couple to marry but which would preserve that marriage in love. Sex should be the energizing magnet to draw constantly closer and closer together with increasing love a husband and wife ….”

This wonderful, factual book is available to you at no charge upon request. Mr. Armstrong used the Bible and science to provide the missing dimension so prevalent in sex knowledge today. In the hands of loving parents, this book is the best tool to instruct our youth on how to avoid the damage caused by casual sex.


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Monday, December 2, 2013

10 Things Sure To Turn Men On!!

There are many things that turn men on. It would take some time to name them all if that was even possible. We are all unique beings therefore are turned on by different things. I'm compiling a list of 10 things I believe are common turn on's to men in no specific order. Let's have a look shall we.


It's amazing the difference is between a woman who puts effort into what she wears and a woman who doesn't put much thought into it at all, or always dresses down.

Of course you don't want to look like your strolling down the red carpet if  your just running to the store for a quick item, but wearing pj bottoms and some flip flops vs. a pair of jeans and a t-shirt make a significant difference.

Moral of the story, put effort in what you wear. It could mean the difference between getting that guy you want to finally notice you or to be ignored once again. Wear what works for you. Different clothes compliment different body types. Rather you are small medium or large, certain clothing compliments your shape the best. Learn what they are and use them well.

This also goes to those women in the "comfort zone." The comfort zone is when a woman gets her man, whether in a relationship or gets married and they feel they "got him." Women tend to get comfortable. The clothing women wear to attract a mate they should continue to wear to keep him focused on them. Your man/husband goes from seeing you at your best most of the time and dressed down some of the time to seeing you dressed down most of the time and only at your best on date night. Don't make this mistake. Keep it sassy keep it sexy, keep him focused!


I can't stress this enough. There is nothing like a woman with a humble spirit and pleasant personality. Like a beautiful woman who acts like she doesn't know it. Or maybe a not so beautiful woman with a lot of personality and character who is pleasant to be around and easy to talk to. A man might not necessarily be all that physically attracted to you, but if you have a wonderful personality he might be open to the possibility. I am witness to this first hand!


There is nothing like a woman who is doing it for herself. Career, own car own place own money. Definitely a turn on. There are women that still live at home and depending on age this is acceptable. Also certain cultures like Hispanics. In a Hispanic household it's not unusual for the woman to live with her parents until she marries. It's also understood times are hard now a days and sometimes we fall down on our luck, but be proactive if that's your case. Show fruits of effort in bettering yourself.

The point is us men don't want to feel like we're some one's meal ticket. We want to feel wanted for us not what we can offer financially. Although I must say me being a Christian I believe once MARRIED,  it's a husbands job to provide for his wife and his family. Notice I said married not in a relationship. It is not the man's job to financially support his girlfriend. Paying for dates and such yes of course but not paying bills.


Pretty self explanatory. Confidence exudes off a woman like an expensive fragrance! It's so attractive, and it makes men want you.

Not to be confused with cockiness it's evil cousin!


Ever hear that song "I love the way she walks I love the way she talks" I forget the name or who it's by. A woman with a mean walk is so sexy. Some ladies might not be aware we pay attention to this but we do! A woman who struts across a room with a sexy swagger in her walk and a swing in those hips is a big turn on!

Have you paid attention to your walk?


Sexy hands and feet are definitely a turn on! I love a woman who keeps her nails and feet looking pretty. To see a well manicured hand on your arm or sexy pedicured toes poking out an open toed heel or pair of sandals is sure to raise the temperature a few notches.

I know more then a few men who won't even date a woman if she has hammer time in her shoes or gorilla hands, booty diggers, you get the point.


If you got them, show them! Keep them shaved, keep them moisturized and show them often. One of the top favorite parts on a woman's body!

8. Booty

Do I really need to explain? Didn't think so but I'll give a little tip for those who have clip boards (flat butts)

While some men are extremist meaning they like extremely big butts, most men are satisfied with a shapely rump that is noticeable in tight clothing or no clothing. Pretty much a woman who's backside pokes out enough to see a nice curve protrude from her back when viewing from her profile. If your lacking a little meat back there you can build up a respectable rump through specific exercises.

There are hundreds of videos on building a nice butt on YouTube. I'm going to link you to two of them I think are really good. One you can do at home and the other is for the gym.            Home booty workout          Gym booty workout


This is for the married folk as I don't promote or condone pre marital sex.  For those of you who are betrothed in matrimony, here is a tip for you ladies that will help keep the spice in the bedroom.

Build up your pantie drawer to enormous proportions! Fill it with every color of the rainbow, every fit every shiny, glittery, see through, cotton, silk thing you can find. What ever your man likes. Have an abundance of undies and change them often.

I'm sure your probably like duh... I change my panties everyday as you should, but I'm talking about multiple times in one day. If it's one of those days where you have the pleasure of laying around for the day and partaking in some adult fun, change your panties after every session. You wake up and love your husband, when your finished change your panties to something new and different. After round two, change them again or put on a different outfit. It can be as simple as changing out of a bra and panties to a t-shirt and different pair of panties or different pantie and bra set. Men are visual creatures, and each change gives us new visual stimulation and a refreshed sense of desire for you. Very hot!

Oh but make sure you keep the granny panties way in the back! Only pull those bad boys out during cycle time.


Now I always tell fellas foreplay is the most important part of sex and I believe it is. It is key to warming the ladies up and getting you where you want to go faster. How ever this time I'm speaking to the ladies.

Now us guys are minute men. Meaning we are ready to get down to business in an instant. A lot of guys who don't know any better or just don't care or are selfish or lazy want to go straight for the main entrĂ©e without starting with the appetizer. You women are in control. DON'T LET HIM! Kiss, touch, rub, bite, pull, what ever it is that gets him going, do that and every time he tries to go for the main dish, don't let him. This will drive him crazy, and as impatient as we are, the main course will be that much more enjoyable when you finally allow him
to dig in!

Again these are only a few of many things that turn men on. I'm sure you can think of some of your own. I hope this is helpful. Some may already know these things but we all need reminders sometimes. Have fun!

God bless!

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